Music composition: nothing to be proud of

The writing of music is a difficult and daunting calling. And yet, it is wrong to be arrogant about being a composer, to look down on other composers, even if you honestly think you're better than them. If you look down on anyone, you bet there's someone looking down on you.

A few days ago, a student composer, let's call him "Kramer," said this to me: "I don't mean to put you down, but there is a big difference between what I do and what you do. It takes a lot of study. I'm not saying that what you do is bad." Then he started rambling and I figured a polite way to extricate myself from what had become an unilateral conversation consisting mostly of put-downs.

I don't know if Kramer has Alzheimer's, but I suppose even if I knew he doesn't, I still wouldn't have at that moment thought of the response his comments deserved. Something like this:

"I hear you loud and clear, I understand where you're coming from. Most of your classical compositions have only been played once each, almost always at the university where you study. One of your compositions has been played thrice, once outside of the university, and that was because of me each time; the last time cost me so much sacrifice and sleepless nights, and now it is the only one of your classical compositions that we can even begin to say that it has a 'performance tradition' associated with it. Some of your classical compositions have been published by a company that you and one other composer created specifically to publish your own compositions, and despite the company's stated desire to represent other composers, you two are the only ones published by said company. Maybe one of your rock songs has been played a hundred times more often than all your classical compositions combined, but this only serves to underscore the fact that your rock glory days are far, far behind you and few if any of your rock fans have followed your shift to classical. So please, continue telling me about what a great composer you are."

But I didn't say any of that to Kramer. Maybe out of some misguided sense of not wanting to burn bridges at any cost. But Kramer is the one who burnt the bridge. So now this post is just for the sake of getting this off my chest. Maybe after today Kramer's compositions will get some more repeat performances outside the university. But it damn sure as hell won't be due to any effort of mine.